10 reasons why Ghajini will Rock On!!
Christmas Day, 002008.
There is no point even attempting to critique Ghajini, as the commercial fate of the film is pre-ordained, rendering any attempt at analysis redundant in today's cash obsessed world. Besides, you don't have to be a trade pundit, to forecast Ghajini's bright prospects at the box office. It is an extremely "realistic" and "perfect" film and is bound to rake in oodles of blood money, for the following obvious reasons.
1. It is blatantly plagiarized - and India absolutely has no respect for good Camembert. In fact, we loves copies more than the originals. So, Mr. Khan can deny that the film has nothing to do with Chris Nolan's path-breaker and he is theoretically correct. While the plot, process and devices are exactly the same, the result is as different as chalk and good cheese that is "badi hai mast-mast".
2. It is being shamelessly peddled on every mainstream "news" format. Be it daily newspapers, "news" channels or tabloids. All are going gaga about the "phenomenon" called Ghajini. Even the victims of the November terrorist attacks did not get so much analysis or coverage. Yes, the release of a two-bit, pointless film, is more newsworthy and juicy as compared to the real issues that affect us Indians - from poverty, upcoming elections, et al. But, then, who says anyone in mainstream media has an iota of shame left, anyways. What say, Barkha Dutt?
3. It stars the "perfectionist khan". What he does to perfection, apart from repeat the same expressions i saw in QSQT (when i was in my chaddies) and overact in direct lifts of films (ranging from "on the waterfront" to "It happened one night"), i do not know. Yet, in a land where trash is the average, sub-mediocre is perfection, i guess.
4. It works on rabble-rousing a "competition" between this khan and the better one - with the controversy being centred around "number of ab packs". SRK did 6, this one flaunts 8. "Ab-solut Ab"? Why don't these guys spend more time in acting classes, instead of the gym? Ah! I know, acting gets you nowhere, biceps do. Right, Sallu, Sanjubaba, John, and, yes, Naseeruddin Shah?
5. It has graphic violence of an unmatched degree. In an environment, where our emotions have been whipped up (namely Indo-Pak conflicts), the pent up rage will be gratified when we see the "new-look" Khan, break some bad-ass necks with his bare hands. Even perhaps enjoy the sight of a helpless, butchered woman's skull getting further thrammed like slog-over delivery, with what appears to be the axle of a truck, for bat.
6. The film is about "short-term-memory-loss". In a country like India, which loves to forget all the tragedies that happen to us everyday, and move on like animals, the protagonist should strike a deep chord with the audience. (I vaguely remember one event that happened a very long time, 30 days, ago - when the CST station, the Taj and Oberoi Hotels were held captive by gunmen and hundreds of people were slaughtered mercilessly. This prompted a desire for "change", which disappeared faster than the Mumbai winters, thanks to the same memory-loss syndrome that this khan boy has). Bird-brains of that feather, will flock to the halls instead of spending that time to do the things they swore to, for their city and nation. Some may even carry candles with them and sing hymns for Herrs.
7. The plot has more holes than the sieve which the director ("murga"dossssss, i believe) must have carried - when god was donating intelligence - making it ideal for the dimwit Indian audiences, who care two hoots for scripts, to begin with. For example: co-incidences galore, a BMW convoy for a business man that would make the Prime-Minister's eyes pop, the longest running red-traffic signal (without which, there would have been no Ghajini), the head of a cell-phone company forgetting his cell-phone (without which there would be no Ghajini), the hero getting away scott free after killing 30,000 people (so what if his victims were crooks) along with one police officer (whose character should unanimously get the Nobel prize for absurdity and be studied by every psychiatry student in the world). Really, a separate site for the atrocious liberties taken in Ghajini should be set up - there is almost one per frame.
8. The title of the film. Which, no matter how hard you try, does not make sense at all - because Ghajini just does not have the same ring as Dr. No.
9. Careless parents will bring their little children to witness this overtly violent film, doubling the income. (I was aghast to see how many children under 10 were watching this gore, instead of Jumbo. Akshay, your screechy voice is no match for this muscular Khan - take a bow and ask your eyelash-batting elephant to do the same!)
10. There are not enough warnings like this, against watching Ghajini. Though, even if there were, people will watch it because its holiday season and we're not really into the Christmas spirit of love, peace and happiness, as a nation. We are reasons 1 to 9.
All said, the protagonist in the film is one a lucky guy. He would have forgotten the scarring experience of being subject to a film as torturous as Ghajini, in 15 minutes flat and probably want to make a sequel. My cursed memory will carry the scars of watching this absolutely trashy film, inside my head (not outside, like that terrible haircut), for ever and ever. Like an unwanted Memento.
There is no point even attempting to critique Ghajini, as the commercial fate of the film is pre-ordained, rendering any attempt at analysis redundant in today's cash obsessed world. Besides, you don't have to be a trade pundit, to forecast Ghajini's bright prospects at the box office. It is an extremely "realistic" and "perfect" film and is bound to rake in oodles of blood money, for the following obvious reasons.
1. It is blatantly plagiarized - and India absolutely has no respect for good Camembert. In fact, we loves copies more than the originals. So, Mr. Khan can deny that the film has nothing to do with Chris Nolan's path-breaker and he is theoretically correct. While the plot, process and devices are exactly the same, the result is as different as chalk and good cheese that is "badi hai mast-mast".
2. It is being shamelessly peddled on every mainstream "news" format. Be it daily newspapers, "news" channels or tabloids. All are going gaga about the "phenomenon" called Ghajini. Even the victims of the November terrorist attacks did not get so much analysis or coverage. Yes, the release of a two-bit, pointless film, is more newsworthy and juicy as compared to the real issues that affect us Indians - from poverty, upcoming elections, et al. But, then, who says anyone in mainstream media has an iota of shame left, anyways. What say, Barkha Dutt?
3. It stars the "perfectionist khan". What he does to perfection, apart from repeat the same expressions i saw in QSQT (when i was in my chaddies) and overact in direct lifts of films (ranging from "on the waterfront" to "It happened one night"), i do not know. Yet, in a land where trash is the average, sub-mediocre is perfection, i guess.
4. It works on rabble-rousing a "competition" between this khan and the better one - with the controversy being centred around "number of ab packs". SRK did 6, this one flaunts 8. "Ab-solut Ab"? Why don't these guys spend more time in acting classes, instead of the gym? Ah! I know, acting gets you nowhere, biceps do. Right, Sallu, Sanjubaba, John, and, yes, Naseeruddin Shah?
5. It has graphic violence of an unmatched degree. In an environment, where our emotions have been whipped up (namely Indo-Pak conflicts), the pent up rage will be gratified when we see the "new-look" Khan, break some bad-ass necks with his bare hands. Even perhaps enjoy the sight of a helpless, butchered woman's skull getting further thrammed like slog-over delivery, with what appears to be the axle of a truck, for bat.
6. The film is about "short-term-memory-loss". In a country like India, which loves to forget all the tragedies that happen to us everyday, and move on like animals, the protagonist should strike a deep chord with the audience. (I vaguely remember one event that happened a very long time, 30 days, ago - when the CST station, the Taj and Oberoi Hotels were held captive by gunmen and hundreds of people were slaughtered mercilessly. This prompted a desire for "change", which disappeared faster than the Mumbai winters, thanks to the same memory-loss syndrome that this khan boy has). Bird-brains of that feather, will flock to the halls instead of spending that time to do the things they swore to, for their city and nation. Some may even carry candles with them and sing hymns for Herrs.
7. The plot has more holes than the sieve which the director ("murga"dossssss, i believe) must have carried - when god was donating intelligence - making it ideal for the dimwit Indian audiences, who care two hoots for scripts, to begin with. For example: co-incidences galore, a BMW convoy for a business man that would make the Prime-Minister's eyes pop, the longest running red-traffic signal (without which, there would have been no Ghajini), the head of a cell-phone company forgetting his cell-phone (without which there would be no Ghajini), the hero getting away scott free after killing 30,000 people (so what if his victims were crooks) along with one police officer (whose character should unanimously get the Nobel prize for absurdity and be studied by every psychiatry student in the world). Really, a separate site for the atrocious liberties taken in Ghajini should be set up - there is almost one per frame.
8. The title of the film. Which, no matter how hard you try, does not make sense at all - because Ghajini just does not have the same ring as Dr. No.
9. Careless parents will bring their little children to witness this overtly violent film, doubling the income. (I was aghast to see how many children under 10 were watching this gore, instead of Jumbo. Akshay, your screechy voice is no match for this muscular Khan - take a bow and ask your eyelash-batting elephant to do the same!)
10. There are not enough warnings like this, against watching Ghajini. Though, even if there were, people will watch it because its holiday season and we're not really into the Christmas spirit of love, peace and happiness, as a nation. We are reasons 1 to 9.
All said, the protagonist in the film is one a lucky guy. He would have forgotten the scarring experience of being subject to a film as torturous as Ghajini, in 15 minutes flat and probably want to make a sequel. My cursed memory will carry the scars of watching this absolutely trashy film, inside my head (not outside, like that terrible haircut), for ever and ever. Like an unwanted Memento.
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