Raja and Rani - A story about Adultery in India (A)

-
Once upon a time, like yesterday, there were two boys and two girls. There was Raja and Rani; Pintu and Pinky.

Alas, their rhythmically aligned names notwithstanding, their's was a doomed, messy (almost star-crossed) affair.

For Raja was wed to Pinky and Rani was Pintu's spouse. Ominous, but what to do? This is India - the world's largest "mandap" for arranged marriages and pre-puberty weddings. So, mutual compatibility, love, age-difference, et al be damned - the foursome was thrust into respective, unwilling nuptial beds, in true Indian tradition. Bill wale dulhaniya le jaayenge, if you get the drift.

Yet, as is the remote possibility once in a while, romance does bloom - and seeks to replace Bill with true Dil. And so begins our story of these two inappropriate pairs - Raja, Rani, Pinky Pintu.

To complicate these already convoluted matters, Raja and Pinky were pedestrian, while Pintu and Rani were royalty. (Pintu drove a Rolls-Royce). To cut a long story short, somehow (like a few hundred pages later), the pairs exchanged to begin their respective adulterous affairs. Rani managed to hook Raja and Pintu managed to seduce Pinky. (Use your imaginations - it could be through any plausible plots of movie you've seen or books you've read. Or, worse, people you may really know! Bottomline - HOW is not important. What happened AFTER, is).

For perspective, the AFTER story is about 8 Sex Scenes, 2 Fight Sequences, 1 Murder, 2 Deaths, 1 End. 

SEX SCENE 1: 
(Int. A Luxury Hotel. Afternoon).

Rani is standing in front of the mirror and studying the quality of her cosmetics. Raja is a bit flustered at the opulence of it all.

RANI: Do you like me? Am I beautiful?
RAJA: Of Course! Madam... aap ke jitnaa khoobsoorat is duniya mein kohin nahin!
RANI: "Khoobsoorat"! (Looking into the mirror, stroking her cheeks). "Khoobsoorat"! Such a nice word. Haven't heard it in a long time.
She turns around towards Raja...
RANI: Raja, mere Raja... mujhein tumhaarey baahon mein le lo!!!
And she runs into Raja's bosom!


SEX SCENE 2:
(Int. Another Luxury Hotel Room. Continuous).

Pinky is looking at her chappals. They suck.
Pintu leads her by the hand and helps her sit on this humungous double bed. Perhaps, Pinky's world could fit on it.
He kneels down and takes of her cheap chappals. 

She has blisters on her feet.

Pintu: You need new shoes!
Pinky: Huh?
Pintu: Nayein Jootey! In kamal jaise pairon par, aise zaalim jootein? 
Pinky: Nahin! theek hain! Khan Market se liye hain...
Pintu: Khan Market? Main tumhein Jimmy Choo doonga... tab dekhna.
Pinky: Jimmy Choo?

(NOTE: I am not sure if i should continue to write this. But, in case anyone is interested in what happens next, tell me. I'll move on with this story! ;) )

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What my name is not... (A two-act play, in 30 mins)

-
Act 1, Scene 1.  (3 mins) Scene: A vacant stretch of land. (Backdrop to the stage is a projection of video images... related to the narrative and dialogue) Four characters enter, from either side of the stage... [An old man from the left, on a walking stick, and three thumb sucking adults (Brawn, Brain and Bawl - all dressed as babies, sucking their thumbs... and walking on their knees), from the right...]  [Old Man is dressed in saffron robes and the three thumb-suckers are dressed as 1. Topless, 2. In a TZP school uniform and 3. in diapers... All three are suckling noisily on their respective thumbs... Backdrop projects images of a communal war... Still and motion...] Old man: Sh-sh-sh-shah ruk... (Produces a saffron dunce cap.... and places it on the Third Child's (Bawl's) head - the one dressed in diapers) A fine graduation. (gestures grandiosely to the galleries, with his one free hand... the other clutches to the waling stick.... Seeks applause....) (Off stage: Jai Shri
Read more

What is a miracle?

-
Kurla is not the first choice you make, if you want to fix a meeting. As fact, in my 25 years of Bombay - i've not had a business meeting in Kurla. It just sounded far too counterproductive, to make it through the traffic snarls and the impatience that brings with it. Till today.  The meeting was worth it, and business was conducted.  The travel, on the other hand - was a revelation. I marvelled at the new SCLR that has been built, while chatting with my cabbie about why Mumbai is the noisiest city in the world, his faith in Modi (despite being a Muslim), improvement in the city's infrastructure etc. I finally saw the markets where spare car parts come from and teak and timber. The  journey to the meeting showed me a part of the city, that earlier was a place you don't just boldly go... For my return, I hitched a tuk-tuk. And then, the following happened in less than a few minutes: A slight jam, before the SCLR signal. Road packed with vehicles... Our au
Read more

The difference between Char Anna, Aath Anna, Bara Anna and Anna Hazaare.

-
Dear Anna, This is a letter and appeal, to allow me - an urban, socially networked, self-furthering hypocrite to feel better about myself, by "joining" your cause. (It really does not matter that i have no clue what it really is, but it sounds cool and grand! This one even sounds better than the last time I got an opportunity to feel "socially conscious" and "politically outraged". That, in case they don't have you-tube in your village - was in the aftermath of what we fondly call 26/11 - to make us feel closer to 9/11). But, first of all, I apologize that this is in English - a language that phonetically fails to differentiate between Anna (an outdated unit of measuring Indian paise), Anna (elder brother) and Anna (the hot, buxom Russian blonde used to sex up the "new, improved" Bollywood). I must sheepishly confess, that I primarily got attracted to this whole affair because I thought this broo-ha-ha was about the last type of Ann
Read more