The Last Right (sic)
Prague, 002020.
After millennia of killings, the major religions of the world had finally come together in unity. There they sat, in one room - the leaders of the four most followed faiths on the planet. The Popess Mary (the first woman at the Vatican), Maula Barrack Osama, Shree Ram Prasad and the Dalai Lamer 16th. Each sat in a corner, with about fifty of their top advisors and stared at the monitors before them. They had all agreed to work together, to solve a major problem that faced the human race.
The disaster had been referred to them by UNCLES (The United Nation's Council for Lawless Exploitation of Society). UNCLES was set up and run to further the profiteering corporations across the world - which, in turn, were owned by these major religions in various percentages. The financial interests of all the religions, coincided with that of UNCLES - so to act together was an absolute necessity, despite the blasphemous challenge that they stared at. The challenge was a grave one. Quite literally. All current forms of last rites - as used and practiced by any major religion - were posing a life and death situation to society.
The monitors they stared at had only three highlighted lines, blinking ominously, followed by an instruction in ALL CAPS:
1. We cannot BURN human remains anymore - since it is contributing to global warming immensely.
2. We cannot BURY humans anymore - since the price of real estates at major cemeteries has shot through the roof.
3. We have to figure how to convert existing graveyards/crematoriums to Malls, especially in prestigious localities.
YOUR CHALLENGE IS TO SOLVE THIS TOGETHER - AND EVOLVE A COMMON METHOD THAT CAN CON THE VARIOUS FOLLOWERS OF YOUR RESPECTIVE RELIGIONS, WHILE STILL ENSURING COMMUNAL VIOLENCE AND HATRED CONTINUES (FOR POLITICAL AND MILITARY PURPOSES).
"We must be the change"... Maula Barrack Osama began... "Who allowed you to speak first" Popess Mary butted in. "Yeah", agreed Ram. Dalai Lamer, the propagator of peace, hurled his wooden sandal in protest. The unity of the religions, was gone in sixty seconds.
Soon, what had happened in Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Auschwitz (Germany), The German Bakery (India) and thousands of other places, repeated itself in that room. Murder, in the name of god and immortality.
Soon, all the two hundred and four in that room had brought themselves to a bloody and violent end. The head of UNCLES opened the door to that room in the evening and found the gory remains.
"How do we get rid of these jokers?" he asked his luscious secretary.
"I say we just toss them into the sea and let the fish feed on them. Who cares, they're all stone dead anyways!" She blurted.
A CFL bulb went off over the head UNLCES head, (tungsten bulbs were banned even as thought bulbs, because of global warming) - and he found the solution to the problem that the deceased two hundred were to solve, while still alive.
No one cared to ask the poor fishes about their last rights. So dead in the water, now.
After millennia of killings, the major religions of the world had finally come together in unity. There they sat, in one room - the leaders of the four most followed faiths on the planet. The Popess Mary (the first woman at the Vatican), Maula Barrack Osama, Shree Ram Prasad and the Dalai Lamer 16th. Each sat in a corner, with about fifty of their top advisors and stared at the monitors before them. They had all agreed to work together, to solve a major problem that faced the human race.
The disaster had been referred to them by UNCLES (The United Nation's Council for Lawless Exploitation of Society). UNCLES was set up and run to further the profiteering corporations across the world - which, in turn, were owned by these major religions in various percentages. The financial interests of all the religions, coincided with that of UNCLES - so to act together was an absolute necessity, despite the blasphemous challenge that they stared at. The challenge was a grave one. Quite literally. All current forms of last rites - as used and practiced by any major religion - were posing a life and death situation to society.
The monitors they stared at had only three highlighted lines, blinking ominously, followed by an instruction in ALL CAPS:
1. We cannot BURN human remains anymore - since it is contributing to global warming immensely.
2. We cannot BURY humans anymore - since the price of real estates at major cemeteries has shot through the roof.
3. We have to figure how to convert existing graveyards/crematoriums to Malls, especially in prestigious localities.
YOUR CHALLENGE IS TO SOLVE THIS TOGETHER - AND EVOLVE A COMMON METHOD THAT CAN CON THE VARIOUS FOLLOWERS OF YOUR RESPECTIVE RELIGIONS, WHILE STILL ENSURING COMMUNAL VIOLENCE AND HATRED CONTINUES (FOR POLITICAL AND MILITARY PURPOSES).
"We must be the change"... Maula Barrack Osama began... "Who allowed you to speak first" Popess Mary butted in. "Yeah", agreed Ram. Dalai Lamer, the propagator of peace, hurled his wooden sandal in protest. The unity of the religions, was gone in sixty seconds.
Soon, what had happened in Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Auschwitz (Germany), The German Bakery (India) and thousands of other places, repeated itself in that room. Murder, in the name of god and immortality.
Soon, all the two hundred and four in that room had brought themselves to a bloody and violent end. The head of UNCLES opened the door to that room in the evening and found the gory remains.
"How do we get rid of these jokers?" he asked his luscious secretary.
"I say we just toss them into the sea and let the fish feed on them. Who cares, they're all stone dead anyways!" She blurted.
A CFL bulb went off over the head UNLCES head, (tungsten bulbs were banned even as thought bulbs, because of global warming) - and he found the solution to the problem that the deceased two hundred were to solve, while still alive.
No one cared to ask the poor fishes about their last rights. So dead in the water, now.
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